Friday, October 29, 2010

Little boxes

Hi, everyone! Yesterday was a picture perfect Indian Summer day here in NH, warm and sunny, and I got out in the afternoon to enjoy the nice weather with a walk around town, continuing my neverending ''Battle of the Bulge'' Today's supposed to be pretty nice, too, but a bit cooler, so I'll probably do that again this afternoon...and, now to Rick, at our sports desk! :-D

I'm going to talk a bit more about an issue that I commented on at LeAnne's ''The Lighter side of being Transgender'' blog. Those annoying little ''M'' or ''F'' boxes that seem to appear on nearly every piece of paperwork that lands in our lap. I think that these little boxes are a bit like Tribbles, they seem to be born pregnant and do little more than breed more little boxes! :-D All kidding aside, at the very instant that we're born, we're inspected, catagorized, and arbitrarily placed inside a little box that says either ''M'' or ''F''. If your box was ''F'' you got the pink blanket, if it was ''M'' you got the blue one. In years past, those who's genitalia were in some way uncertain were subjected to horrifying surgical intervention to make them fit into one of those boxes, and in that, we in the trans community have been much more fortunate than our intersex brothers and sisters.

After birth, these little boxes take on a life of their own and multiply exponentially as the years go by. Medical records, school records, driver's license, marriage certificate, on and on ad infinitum, and these little boxes are immortal, they follow us even beyond the grave! Now, some would like to see other boxes added to the standard ''M'' or ''F'' to give other choices to those who's gender is in flux or those who don't identify as either gender, but I take the opposite approach. I'd like to see those little boxes done away with entirely! IMHO, those little boxes are little more than bureaucratic voyurisim, only about one step better than being a Peeping Tom! I see no reason why some pencil pusher at the DMV needs to know what's between my legs, I don't plan on being intimate with them! In any event, these boxes are, in most cases, unnessisairy, if your legal name is Jane, for example, and you're wearing a skirt, chances are that you identify yourself as female!

Okay, on a lighter note, from the ''Are you f'ing kidding me?!!'' department: A man who worked for McDonald's in Brazil for 10 years won a 65 thousand, that's right, THOUSAND!, dollar settlement in court because he gained 65 pounds while he worked there! This latest jaw-dropping denial of personal responsibility is truly astounding! It sounds like a ruling that would come out of the 9th circut court of appeals! Idiots like this is why we have ''CAUTION, CONTENTS MAY BE HOT'' stamped on styrofoam coffee cups!

Gee, I wonder if I can sue Anheuser-Bush? :-D

Dani xxx


Amy K. said...

Well, I just love checking "F." I never take that for granted, and perhaps I never will. I was checking that box way before I started the Real Life Test. Either way, let them come to their own decisions, which they will anyway. You know who you are. :)

Caroline said...

The net has caused me near apoplexy, worse than Tribble trouble, since even on online forms which have no possible need to know anything about what is or is not beneath your underwear and even on some sites which have said as much! you can't progress unless you click a box!!

Ticking or clicking an "M" box always made my physically sick and tipped me into depression many times. Living a between life for decades was not easy!

I too have been 65 over my favourite weight, how do I claim my cheque?

Caroline xxx

Dani said...

@ Amy: Where I don't have a legal name change yet, checking ''F'' on certain documents could be problematic at best. In any event, it certainly wouldn't fly with the DMV.

Knowing who you are is the most important thing, something that I'm still learning, in fact, as I slowly strip away the veneer of masculinity that I was forced to wear since childhood. Others will indeed make their own judgement, but as Dr. Seuss said, ''Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter!''

@ Caroline: Don't even get me started on the online forms! That's why I won't join anything like facbook! I've had a similar reaction to checking the ''M'' box, one of complete contempt and disgust! It's almost as if my brain gets caught in a feedback loop and and shuts down! I haven't lived in limbo anywhere near as long as you have, but what's discouraging is that I know that I'll be there for a very, very long time. I'd be happy right now to be officially full time, SRS is a vague and distant dream that's years away, if ever.

I'm currently at about 50lbs. over where I want to be, and the process of taking it off is going maddeningly slow! I like food, and years of self medicating with alcohol have taken their toll. I was wrong about the 65 thousand figure, it's actually 17.5K, I should've checked on that figure first to make sure that it was accurate. That's still a lot of money, though, especially in Brazil! It probably would about the same as getting 65K in The States! I'd like to know where my check is,too, maybe it's in the mail!!! :-D

Dani xxx

Caroline said...

Lot of calories in alcohol! Take it slow and steady at a rate you can keep up without constant misery, I am hoping for about a pound a week but not going to cry if it falls short, 8+ lost since mid summer and I have only this week turned on the real effort.

We can do it.

Caroline xxx

LeAnne said...

Well, now that you mention it. Those questions that ask about gender do seem a bit intrusive!
I have never thought much about those things except with a passing thought of putting down female. Really, it's because I have always wanted to fill in the blank with that. And the days is coming soon, that I will.

Nothing is ever important to a person until the issue is put upon them! People never think about being handicapped until an accident put them in a wheel chair. They never think about down syndrome until they have a child with that. They never think about being transgender until a family member tells them about it.

It's all about priorities. It's never going to get the real attention it deserves until everyone quits hiding behind their facade and come forth to say

"What's the big deal?"
"I'm transgender!"

Too many people transition and forget about whom they have left behind. All the people, resources, tg friends whom supported this person are all left in the dust because they went "stealth"! What a word to discribe this act! Simply because they do not want others to know.

They were hiding before, out during, then go back into hiding.

Why? Just so they can tick the box and not have to admit whom they once were.

Until there is unity all across the board from thousands of people whom are transgender, transexual, that are in hiding. Come out to together to make a change in the world. Things like this, ticking a box and all other types of discrimination, will be forever changed.