Blue Skying

Sometimes, when I'm just sitting around not really doing anything but thinking, I wonder just exactly WHY am I transgender, what causes this condition. I know that while these thoughts are not productive, in and of themselves, and that they certainly won't change who and what I am, even if I wanted to, I sometimes come up with theories that may explain why some people are born this way. Now if I, a high school educated, unemployed construction worker, can come up with these theories, then surely a whole host of people with half a dozen PhD's and a string of letters behind their names must be recieving millions in grant money to study this, but, unless I'm not looking in the right place, I'm just not finding much research into the causes of GID.

I wonder if this apparent lack of research is for political and religious reasons. I have a pretty dim view of the government and it's my belief that their standard operating procedure is to keep information from the public that, in their opinion, would radically disturb the status quo. They're hidden deeper in the closet than some of us are! Organized religion would want such revelations kept secret as well, as the truth could shake their long held beliefs to the core. It's not too hard for me to believe that both church and state would go out of their way to keep any verifiable cause of GID a secret.

Imagine, if you will, the political and social chaos that would ensue if it were determined beyond any doubt that GID was a genetic condition and that suddenly governments had to give us our rights, as they were finally forced to for other minorities, and that legal discrimination was no longer acceptable. Imagine the conservative Christians, who have been taught to hate what they don't understand, suddenly being faced with Liviticus being tossed out the window just as Genisis has been. Imagine the financial cost if suddenly insurance companies were forced to pay for the procedures that they presently deny coverage for, it could run into the millions. Imagine the hundreds of millions of dollars that the chemical companies would have to pay out in massiue class action lawsuits around the world if it was determined that one of their wonderful, harmless food colorings or pesticides was a cause of GID.

Still, information does manage to escape their watchful eyes from time to time, however inconclusive that information may be. The link between DES and GID is one of those pieces of research that somehow escaped the censors. This potential cause is close to home for me, as I feel that it's likely that my mother took DES. I also think that there's likely a link between GID and all the chemicals that have been dumped into the enviorment and injected into our food for the last 60 some odd years. In recent years I have seen more cases of ADD, ADHD, Autisim, and other conditions than I can recall seeing back in the 70's and 80's, it's not a far stretch to connect those conditions and GID with chemicals. The realy big cause, though, I believe, is genetic predisposition, and this is the cause that's most likely to let the genie out of the bottle. I think that the area of the brain that controls both gender and sexual attraction are in the same sectim of the brain and that gender variance and same sex attraction are more likely to occure among individuals in certain families, meaning that if you have one or more family members who are gay, you are more likely to be transsexual, and vice versa.

Just some theories from a high school educated, unemployed construction worker& mind you. What do you think?

Dani xxx

Stuck in the mud

Hi, everyone! so what's new with me? To be honest, not much. My life, in general, sucks, it's going absolutely nowhere. It's kind of like being stuck in the mud, nothing's moving forward, nothing's going backwards, the tires are just spining.

No breaks yet on the job hunting front, more applications submited but the phone sits stubbornly silent. I'd really like to find a job that I could transition at but at this point anything that will pay the bills will do. If I need to change jobs later on down the road when I go full time so be it, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Financially, we're still holding on by a thread with what little money is coming in and we're constantly dead broke. Tax refund time can't get here soon enough, even though it's already spoken for. On top of everything else. we need a new car, something else to make job hunting that much harder.

The situation with the wife remains the same, nothing negative but no positive moves forward, either. In fact, my transition still isn't even a subject for conversation at the moment, nor should it be, with all the financial stuff on our plate at this time. All of this is very discouraging and depressing and is nearly enough to make me shrug my shoulders and just give up on everything, just curl up into a little ball and die. No, don't worry, I'm not thinking about suicide. A good cry from time to time helps, but that's a very short term release and after awhile you run out of tears. It may be just as well that I'm broke because it would probably be time to get good and falling down drunk.

Okay, enough of that! On a lighter note, another submission from the ''Are you f'ing kidding me?!?'' department: It seems that Nancy Pelosi, one of the people that are most responsible for the dems taking the worst electoral pounding in the last 75 years, has decided that her work isn't finished yet and now she wants to be House minority leader in the new Congress!!! This wicked witch evidentally won't be satisfied until the GOP has a super majority in both houses of Congress!!! Why on Earth do the voters keep sending this woman to Washington, anyway?!? Is it to try to keep her away from San Fransisco, or are they all on drugs?!? If the dems actually choose her to continue to lead them after Tuesday's debacle, it would make me seriously doubt their ability to lead this country in the future!

Dani xxx

Be heard!

Hi, everyone! I'm going to take a minute or two of my time, and yours, to say something that you probably don't need to be reminded of unless you've been living in a cave or under a rock for the last couple of months.

Today is election day, make sure to get out and vote. Leave home earlier and do it on your way to work, do it on your way home tonight, do it at lunch, leave work early, find a ride to the polls, walk if you have to, it's that important! Today's results will effect all of our lives for the next two years and beyond, your future, and the future of the nation is at stake. We only get this chance once every two years to make our voices heard by TPTB, and while they may not listen, as, in fact, our current crop of legislators don't, and there's no guarantee that the next crop will be much better, your voice won't be heard at all if you sit silent. No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, make sure that your voice is heard, get out and vote. The only vote that doesn't count is the one that isn't cast!

Dani xxx