...BREAKING NEWS... SUNDAY, MAY 22, 2011 10:00 AM EST
...URGENT! THE RAPTURE DID NOT HAPPEN! REPEAT...RAPTURE DID NOT HAPPEN!
Reports of people waking up this morning and finding that everything is pretty much as it was yesterday are streaming in from around the globe. We are still seeking independent confirmation of this story, but all reports thus far lead us to believe that absolutely nothing happened!
...PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER IRRELEVANT REPORTS OF THIS NON-EVENT! :-D