Tuesday, June 21, 2011

''The Crossdressers''

Calie closed the thread at T-central yesterday before I could respond to Carolyn Ann yesterday, so I'll respond here. B.T.W. Carolyn Ann, thank you so much for the insult to someone that you don't even know! I am not an ''anonymous coward'', if you would've looked at the bottom of my comment you would've seen that I signed it, as I always sign my comments, Dani xxx, so I think that you owe me an apology, though I doubt that I'll get one. I was making reference to your post on Saturday, ''Lost interest...'' and I certainly meant no offense, but I probably should've known better, since it seems that your favorite passtime is to surf the web looking for things to be offended by. My bad!

Now, I don't blame you for being offended by the term ''The Crossdressers'', I dhd a simple Google search and it turns out that ''The Crossdressers'', or, more specifically, ''thecrossdressers.com'' is, in their words, an ''Explicit cross-dressing gay fantasies'' site, and I'd be offended to be associated with that, too! Now that we've established what ''The Crossdressers'' really is, I'm pretty sure that we can all agree that ''Explicit cross-dressing gay fantasies'' can, in fact, be turned on and off at will, so Calie is quite correct! :-D

Dani xxx


Carolyn Ann said...

Dani: How am I to know who you are "Dani xxx"? Yours is not a signature I'm familiar with. So how would I know that's what you do?

You didn't sign into your Google account, so the comment was headed "Anonymous". And if you knew anything about me, you'd know I'm quite harsh on "anonymous".

As an aside, if you go looking through my blog, you'll notice that I always find a way of letting people know I'm discussing them. I don't gossip behind their back. (Famous people are an exception; they can, and mostly do, expect to be the subject of gossip.) I didn't notice any such attempt on your part.

As for looking for things to take exception at, I do wonder when that little cheap stupidity will stop. Besides being an ad-hominem swipe, it's obviously incorrect. Believe me, there's plenty out there I could take exception to, but I ignore it. The fact that I found something insulting and objectifying is neither here nor there, is it? Not to you, not to Calie and not some others.

Your rationalization of "the crossdressers" is a bit strange. I didn't Google it, so I wasn't aware of that association. Thanks for pointing it out. If that was Calie's contention, then she was sort of correct, even if her expression of that was a bit clumsy. But she didn't mean that, did she? Calie turned a disparate set of people into a monolithic group, made them an object and then prescribed a quality to every member of that group. There was no consideration of the individual within Calie's usage; she didn't bother attempting to differentiate between individual members of the group she created; they're all the same, according to her usage. Is that so difficult to understand? It's not an arcane extrapolation, it's a obvious, direct and simple one. It's clear that anyone who could construct a term like that thinks in such terms. That makes it even more odious! Because when we collectivize people like that we dehumanize them. That's what I object to.

I didn't go looking to be offended. T-Central is hardly a place to go if you want to be offended; it's generally pretty innocuous. Their general "op-ed" is placid; occasionally an admin will write something contentious. Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. At this point I'm thinking that the best thing to do when I see something objectionable is mutter under my breath and let it slide. To let such dismissive terminology become part of the lexicon of the community. Would that be better? More acceptable? To let insulting and objectifying terminology become normal? To use the language of "our" detractors within the community itself, to describe each other? I find that idea appalling; I'd like to read if you do, too.

I simply was offended by such casual disdain for an entire community of very disparate folk! I found it especially galling on a site that allegedly caters to the very population that was objectified.

Carolyn Ann

Carolyn Ann said...

A response to your rather silly accusation.

Anonymous said...

Confucius say, "Ignore all jackasses."

Carolyn Ann is a troll, and that's not a term I use loosely. Anyone who read your comment (or any other comment that you have written) knows you did not and would not intend any offense.

And this is coming from someone who doesn't sign their name for fear of vengeance from trolling jackasses.

Just ignore him. Everyone else does.

Anne said...


The term, crossdresser has replaced transvestite as the new and improved, and PC approved term du jour as prescribed by GLAAD MRG.

Perhaps you would prefer, Man in a Dress?


Teagan said...

Dani, I'll get you up to speed. Here's the current scoreboard. You get one point each time you're the focus of one of his posts, or comments, etc. It's easy, really. Just write anything that directly or indirectly refers to him, or put the word "the" in front of pretty much anything, and you're guaranteed to get your very own 1000-word post!! It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Teagan: 16
Suzan: 16
Dana: 16
Natasha: 9
Calie: 3
Cathryn: 2
Dani: 2
Anne: 2
Miz: 2
Ariel: 1
Karen: 1
Ashley: 2
Ambidextrix: 1
Elizabeth: 1

Although. It does get boring quickly. It's kind of like being on one side of a glass door, and holding a steak, while goading a little puppy on the other side of the door to come get the steak. The puppy keeps running up to the door and slamming into it. And keeps doing it over, and over, and over. It's entertaining for a little while, but it's just too damn easy.

Carolyn Ann said...

Teagan, rather than suggest you do something anatomically impossible, I'll merely suggest you purchase for yourself a dictionary. It should cover American English. That's twice I've caught you not being able to define words properly. Perhaps your monotonous little list could reflect that? "Unable to define words: Teagan, 2".

Oh, that's right. The first time you told me to define something and when I did you ran away. So you could put another item in your list: Ran away from a discussion: Teagan, at least once. (I'd suggest "Avoids the challenge she created: Teagan, unknown" But I gather you're a sensitive gal who likes to dish it out but runs away at the first hint of having to take it, too.)

So I'd say you're a fine one to issue criticism. (Oh you're
almost entertaining with the personal criticism. But you can't actually manage any other, can you?)

You squeak in horror because someone doesn't live up to your fine feminine ideals (what with you being a real woman and all), whine like a five year old denied a toy and run away at the first hint the fight you dearly tried to start actually starts. I admire your bravery; it's not often you see grown-ups emulate the courage of a two year old in the middle of a tantrum.

At least I don't objectify others. Unlike you.

Carolyn Ann said...

Oh, Teagan! Over here, dear. If you can take your fingers out of your ears, just for a moment, dear... No? Oh well. I know it's hard to do something adult, but you are supposed to be one. No? Oh well.

I was going to tell you that you can update your list: I wrote of you.

I did't want you to feel slighted by having the same number of mentions as Suzan and Dana.

The post is called "She'll Never Be A Lady". Because that's one thing you'll never be, dear.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you do not realize this, Carolyn Ann, but every time you attack someone you DISCREDIT YOURSELF! No, you're not the only who is doing it, but it doesn't matter. FACTS AND LOGIC which will persuade people. Personal attacks just make you look like an asshole.

Stop being an asshole!!!!!!!

Carolyn Ann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carolyn Ann said...

Oops. Something got accidentally deleted.

Anonymous, thanks for your concern over my dignity. Personally, I'm not above wading into the mud and letting a little stick to me. I tried facts and logic; that got me a pretty little list keeper.

At least I don't pretend the mud is paradise, unlike the aforementioned list keeper.

At least you know who I am, as does Teagan.

Calie said...

@Carolyn Ann - I sincerely apologize if I upset you. My comment was not meant to offend.

I co-coordinate a TG lunch sponsored by our 400+ member local group. The next lunch is this Friday. Most in attendance are declared CD's but there are also those like me who are, more-or-less in between, and there are those who are in transition. I am going to bring up this thread and see what the general consensus is among our group.

@All - I shut comments down simply because they were beginning to get off-topic and were doing nothing to promote the particular blog we featured. I generally let virtually every comment go through on TC, as do the others.

Carolyn Ann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carolyn Ann said...

(Another oops. This time I copied and pasted a "new post" URL!)


I do know that. My rather trite response makes that abundantly clear. I try to excuse my behavior, but that's all it is: an excuse. I shouldn't be willing to wade in the mud, even if I know it's not paradise. Especially as I know it's not paradise. Let those who choose to demean themselves wallow in their own pettiness and arrogance. I should choose not to. I do choose not to.

I allowed these people to irritate me. I provided them the room to denigrate others; that they eagerly seized it shouldn't reflect on me as it does. I don't care if they mock me; I should, do, care that I allowed such superficial twittery to affect me and reflect upon me. I, no one else, am responsible for my words and ideas.

Anonymous, you're right. I should hold myself to a higher standard than I have been.

Thank you, Anonymous.


Carolyn Ann

Carolyn Ann said...

Thank you, Calie.

Have fun at your luncheon. :-)

Anonymous said...

Carolyn Ann,

Looks like your blog does not accept anonymous comments, so I cannot respond there. With apologies to Dani I will respond here.

Tensions are just really, really high right now on all sides. When you're messing with people's reality (and that's what EVERYONE is doing IMHO) things are going to get heated. Trust me. I've had my psyche bitch-slapped more than once in this. You just have to learn to take it and move on. Most of the time when offense is taken, there is no actual offense to take.

Took me a while to learn that. You seem to be a good person to me. Ya just have to roll with the punches (and there's going to be a lot of punches).

Dana Lane Taylor said...

LOL...Carolyn Ann is almost insanely obsessed with transsexual women. Does Carolyn Ann want us to accept him as a woman? I don't understand what his extreme obsession is, here.

I am a bit hurt that I am not on the very top of Teagan's list but to be honest, I am in great company. If you aren't in the top of that list then you are doing something wrong.

Anonymous said...

Proof of Concept