Samhain

Today is the day of Samhain, better known as All Hallow's Eve, or Halloween. This is the time that my Irish ancestors believed that the veil that seperates the world of the living from the world of the dead was at it's thinest, and that the dead could cross back into our world at this time. It's pretty easy to see why they would hold such a belief for this time of year. The first frosts of the year had already come and that which belonged to the summer was dead or dying, foreshadowing the coming cold, grey months of winter. On a late October evening, with the pale moon overhead, the chill wind blowing through the skeletal arms of the trees, rustling the dead and dying leaves, the world of the dead seems very close and you can almost feel the spirits in the air. Pretty sharp people, those Irish! :-D

Bonfires were, and still are, common, as is the tradition of wearing masks and costumes, meant to impersonate and placate the spirits. Here in America, this is when children dress up in costumes and go door to door looking for candy and tricksters, usually teens, toilet paper trees, smash pumpkins, soap windows, and egg cars. Adults often get into the act by also dressing in costumes to hand out candy to trick or treaters, going to work on Halloween itself or the last workday before, or to go to various Halloween parties. This day has also come to be known, officially, and somewhat dubiously, as the crossdresser's holiday, as this is the day that provides the best cover story for being out and about en femme. Now, some of you may wonder if I am going to really go all out today to femme it up, to ''Femulate''?

No.

If anything, I'll dress down today, and for most of you the reasons should be obvious. I am not a crossdresser, or rather, I consider myself to be crossdressing when I'm in drab, not en femme. I don't want to be seen as wearing a costume, this is who I am, I'm not playing some cute Halloween dress up game. I also don't have any special plans for tonight. No costume parties or any other such thing is on my schedule, if there were, I'd consider dressing as Morticia Addams, Elvira, or something equally creepy and gothic, which would be a costume. The last reason is that I already push the envelope to the far edge of androgeny, almost to overtly femme. Now, mind you, I don't think that what I am is a very well kept secret, and, in fact, I haven't tried to keep it one. Those closest to me know that I'm trans, but others that I interact with regularly, while I'm pretty sure that they suspect something, don't have anything to confirm or deny their suspisions and, for the moment, I intend to keep it that way. I'm not quite ready to give these people an ''AH,HA!'' moment.

If you are using this day as cover to crossdress, be my guest, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Enjoy yourself and have fun with it, but I won't be joining you.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Dani xxx