Well, Pride month is over and I find myself asking just what, exactly, am I supposed to be proud of? I honestly don't know, maybe someone can explain it to me. I can't say that I'm proud of being transsexual, I'm not ashamed of it, either, it is what it is. I'm also not proud that the sky is blue or that grass is green. Should I be proud to have a condition that, by some estimates, 1:500 people have? Are people proud of being blind? Diabetic? Clubfooted? I consider being born transsexual to be an unfortunate circumstance, one which I hope to correct at some point.
Should I be proud that over 50% of us attempt suicide before age 20? Should I be proud that over 31% of us succeed in doing so? Should I be proud that my life has been marginally good enough to keep me from killing myself? (Not that the thought never crossed my mind!) Should I be proud that we're 16 times more likely to be the victims of a hate crime? (this estimate sounds a bit high, but maybe?) Should I be proud that because of a healthy degree of caution on my part, with a heaping helping of plain old-fashioned dumb luck, that I haven't become a statistic yet? Should I be proud that this could be the last thing that someone ever reads?
Should I be proud that many of us live far below the poverty line? Should I be proud that many of us become unemployed, underemployed, unemployable, and homeless just for being who we are? Should I be proud that some of us have to sell our bodies just to survive? Should I be proud that life saving emergency medical treatment can be denied or delayed if it's discovered that we're transsexual? Should I be proud that most insurance companies won't even pay one thin dimes worth of transition costs? Should I be proud that many of us risk our lives and our health by resorting to DIY HRT and silicon ''pumping parties'' because of the outrageously high financial cost of doing transition the right way, and the ridiculous hoops that some ''gatekeepers'' make people jump through? Should I be proud that we barely rate high enough to be considered third rate citizens? Animals are treated better!
Should I be proud of how the media constantly misrepresents us to society? Should I be proud that some of us actually help to perpetuate the misconceptions? There's an old phrase that bears repeating; one ''Oh, fuck!'' wipes out at least ten ''Atta girls!'' (or ''Atta boys!''), and we have more than our fair share of ''Oh, fuck!'' moments. Should I be proud that, year in and year out, the public face of trans in Pride events worldwide is gay men in really, really bad drag? Should I be proud of the constant freak show on Springer? Should I be proud of the clown who jets around the country wearing nothing but a bra and panties? It's no wonder that the cisgender have bathroom panic! Yeah, I know, lighten up, it's just in good fun, after all, Blackface and mocking the handicaped is hysterically funny, too, right?
Making ourselves look like circus sideshow attractions every June doesn't do anything to help us. Let me make one thing really, really clear; in-your-face, out, loud, and proud has never, and will never, accomplish anything but creating backlash from mainstream society. Gays and lesbians have achieved what they have in the last 40 years not because of pride, but in spite of it.
Dani xxx
Friday, July 1, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
''Resistance is futile''
Well, wouldn't you just know it?!? No sooner do I say that we are not part of some Borg Collective than the Borg Qveen herself (AKA: Common Teri) informs us that we've already been assimilated and we probably didn't even know it! Well, okay, I'm a big enough girl to admit it when I'm wrong, though I don't really recall being assimilated! This business of being a Borg does help explain a few things, though, and probably comes with a few perks:
1) Now you know where that voice in your head came from, you know, the one that told you to buy that really cute pair of slingbacks last week!
2) Borg are never alone. Hey, when was the last time that you saw just one Borg in Chili's on Saturday night!
3) You get to wear one of those really cool vinyl catsuits!
I wonder if I can get to be Seven of Nine? :-D
Dani xxx
1) Now you know where that voice in your head came from, you know, the one that told you to buy that really cute pair of slingbacks last week!
2) Borg are never alone. Hey, when was the last time that you saw just one Borg in Chili's on Saturday night!
3) You get to wear one of those really cool vinyl catsuits!
I wonder if I can get to be Seven of Nine? :-D
Dani xxx
Friday, June 24, 2011
I ''get it''
Wow! Holy crap! I recieved 17 comments at my last post! (Well, okay, I know that 3 or 4 of them were boo-boos, but I'm counting them anyway! :-D) All of this over a facetious little 2 paragraph post that I hammered out in about 2 minutes, I wish I got this kind of reaction (minus the flame war, of course!) to my better thought out ones! Thank you all for your comments, I found them to be enlightening, and a few of them (I'm looking at you, Teagan! :-D) to be humorous. Unfortunately, I couldn't (and still can't!) comment myself thanks to my ongoing Blogger issues, I hope to have them resolved soon. I seriously considered closing further comments after about the first ten, but I decided not to, and I'm glad that I didn't, because something amazing happened. After Calie's comment (and probably because of it!) there seemed to be, perhaps, the beginings of a rational discussion. this has raised some hope in me that maybe we can finally get beyond this (somewhat silly, IMHO) arguement over semantics and move on to more important issues, of which there is no shortage.
Now, mostly for the benefit of those who may be new here (seeing what today's train wreck will be! :-D) I'm going to tell you a few things about me, for those of you who have been regularly reading my scribblings, most of this will be old news. I do have a point that I'm trying to make, trust me!
I am, perhaps, something of an unusual animal in that I meet few of the expectations, or stereotypes, of any of the various groups that I could be grouped with. I am a transsexual, probably Benjamin type 5 (I don't obsess over what ''type'' I am). Politically, I am a socially liberal independent libertarian conservative, something of a rarity in GLBT circles. Religiously, I've described myself as a agnostic wicca buddhist nazarene pastafarian, I don't believe in god, at least not in the judeo-christian sense of a personal deity. I've recently been learning about illuminism, but that is the subject of a different post. As I'm sure that many of you already suspect, I am a lesbian, the partners that I am attracted to are primarily women.
Okay, so what's my point?
My point is that I ''get it'' (and I always did, in fact), we are all individuals, not the members of some Borg Collective, Mafia, Nazis, or any other sort of thing that I've heard bandied about. now, personally, I don't believe that most people use terms like ''the crossdressers'' trying to be deliberately offensive or with the intent to dehumanize anyone. For better or worse, I'm sure that we've all done something like that at one time or another. We should all, perhaps, realize that just because we may not take offense at something that doesn't mean that someone else won't.
I am...me, and you are you. Be the best you that you can be.
Dani xxx
Now, mostly for the benefit of those who may be new here (seeing what today's train wreck will be! :-D) I'm going to tell you a few things about me, for those of you who have been regularly reading my scribblings, most of this will be old news. I do have a point that I'm trying to make, trust me!
I am, perhaps, something of an unusual animal in that I meet few of the expectations, or stereotypes, of any of the various groups that I could be grouped with. I am a transsexual, probably Benjamin type 5 (I don't obsess over what ''type'' I am). Politically, I am a socially liberal independent libertarian conservative, something of a rarity in GLBT circles. Religiously, I've described myself as a agnostic wicca buddhist nazarene pastafarian, I don't believe in god, at least not in the judeo-christian sense of a personal deity. I've recently been learning about illuminism, but that is the subject of a different post. As I'm sure that many of you already suspect, I am a lesbian, the partners that I am attracted to are primarily women.
Okay, so what's my point?
My point is that I ''get it'' (and I always did, in fact), we are all individuals, not the members of some Borg Collective, Mafia, Nazis, or any other sort of thing that I've heard bandied about. now, personally, I don't believe that most people use terms like ''the crossdressers'' trying to be deliberately offensive or with the intent to dehumanize anyone. For better or worse, I'm sure that we've all done something like that at one time or another. We should all, perhaps, realize that just because we may not take offense at something that doesn't mean that someone else won't.
I am...me, and you are you. Be the best you that you can be.
Dani xxx
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
''The Crossdressers''
Calie closed the thread at T-central yesterday before I could respond to Carolyn Ann yesterday, so I'll respond here. B.T.W. Carolyn Ann, thank you so much for the insult to someone that you don't even know! I am not an ''anonymous coward'', if you would've looked at the bottom of my comment you would've seen that I signed it, as I always sign my comments, Dani xxx, so I think that you owe me an apology, though I doubt that I'll get one. I was making reference to your post on Saturday, ''Lost interest...'' and I certainly meant no offense, but I probably should've known better, since it seems that your favorite passtime is to surf the web looking for things to be offended by. My bad!
Now, I don't blame you for being offended by the term ''The Crossdressers'', I dhd a simple Google search and it turns out that ''The Crossdressers'', or, more specifically, ''thecrossdressers.com'' is, in their words, an ''Explicit cross-dressing gay fantasies'' site, and I'd be offended to be associated with that, too! Now that we've established what ''The Crossdressers'' really is, I'm pretty sure that we can all agree that ''Explicit cross-dressing gay fantasies'' can, in fact, be turned on and off at will, so Calie is quite correct! :-D
Dani xxx
Now, I don't blame you for being offended by the term ''The Crossdressers'', I dhd a simple Google search and it turns out that ''The Crossdressers'', or, more specifically, ''thecrossdressers.com'' is, in their words, an ''Explicit cross-dressing gay fantasies'' site, and I'd be offended to be associated with that, too! Now that we've established what ''The Crossdressers'' really is, I'm pretty sure that we can all agree that ''Explicit cross-dressing gay fantasies'' can, in fact, be turned on and off at will, so Calie is quite correct! :-D
Dani xxx
Sunday, June 19, 2011
My Sacrifice
Well, today is Father's Day, a day that usually comes and goes at my house without much fanfare. A couple of cards, a couple of phone calls, (my sons and my step-kids don't live nearby) but otherwise the day passes much as any other Sunday. I prefer it that way, I've never really been too sure what to make of Father's Day. I am a father, and I always will be, no matter what the future brings, and I wouldn't change that for the world. Sure, I would've rather of been a mother, but thanks to the circumstances of my birth that was never in the cards, so there's no sense in dwelling on it.
The fact that today is Father's Day, with a helpful nudge by Rhiannon's post this morning (rhiannon-rambling.blogspot.com) has caused me to reflect upon the choice that I made 18 years ago. I had finally accepted that I was trans,and that I was going to transition. I walked right up to the edge of the abyss, prepaired to jump, then stopped, stood back, and walked away. I purged. No more clothes, no more shoes, no more make-up, no more jewelery, I de-transitioned before I'd even started my transition. I cut my hair, stopped shaving, grew my beard back, and threw myself into anything, and I do mean EVERYTHING (work, sports, alcohol, drugs, etc.) to try to keep from thinking about it.
Why?
For my family, for my kids, for my wife, to save my marriage (my wife is much more accepting now than she was then!). I was the product of a broken home, a failed 16 year marriage, and an emotionally and physically absent father, and I wanted better than that for my kids. I, like so many others, before and since, had lived in denial of who and what I was. I told myself that all I had to do was meet the right woman, settle down, and it would all just go away. Of course, that doesn't work, but I didn't know that at the time. So now I had a wife and kids who, through no fault of their own, were stuck firmly in the middle of a mess that they never asked for. So, I did what I felt was the right thing for my family, I put their needs ahead of my own. I had made my bed, and I'd just have to lay in it.
Was it the right choice?
I ask myself that sometimes, and the simple answer is that I have no simple answer. It was probably the best choice that I could've made at that time and place, the early '90s was a different time than today, and NH was a different place then. I made sure that my kids grew up with a father and a ''normal'' childhood, and I gave my marriage a good fighting chance to survive going forward into my transition now (it wouldn't have survived 18 years ago!). But at a cost. My youth. Had I transitioned in the early '90s I would've been a relatively young transitioner. Now, I'm in my mid 40's, and testosterone has had those 18 years to further ravage my body, and I'll never get those years back.
I envy you younger girls, you have so many better options, so much more information at your fingertips, and so many more places to find help than I did ''back in the day''. Don't do what I did. Don't live in denial. No one today should have to make the choices that I had to make back then. Don't get innocents caught up in your problem.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there!
Dani xxx
The fact that today is Father's Day, with a helpful nudge by Rhiannon's post this morning (rhiannon-rambling.blogspot.com) has caused me to reflect upon the choice that I made 18 years ago. I had finally accepted that I was trans,and that I was going to transition. I walked right up to the edge of the abyss, prepaired to jump, then stopped, stood back, and walked away. I purged. No more clothes, no more shoes, no more make-up, no more jewelery, I de-transitioned before I'd even started my transition. I cut my hair, stopped shaving, grew my beard back, and threw myself into anything, and I do mean EVERYTHING (work, sports, alcohol, drugs, etc.) to try to keep from thinking about it.
Why?
For my family, for my kids, for my wife, to save my marriage (my wife is much more accepting now than she was then!). I was the product of a broken home, a failed 16 year marriage, and an emotionally and physically absent father, and I wanted better than that for my kids. I, like so many others, before and since, had lived in denial of who and what I was. I told myself that all I had to do was meet the right woman, settle down, and it would all just go away. Of course, that doesn't work, but I didn't know that at the time. So now I had a wife and kids who, through no fault of their own, were stuck firmly in the middle of a mess that they never asked for. So, I did what I felt was the right thing for my family, I put their needs ahead of my own. I had made my bed, and I'd just have to lay in it.
Was it the right choice?
I ask myself that sometimes, and the simple answer is that I have no simple answer. It was probably the best choice that I could've made at that time and place, the early '90s was a different time than today, and NH was a different place then. I made sure that my kids grew up with a father and a ''normal'' childhood, and I gave my marriage a good fighting chance to survive going forward into my transition now (it wouldn't have survived 18 years ago!). But at a cost. My youth. Had I transitioned in the early '90s I would've been a relatively young transitioner. Now, I'm in my mid 40's, and testosterone has had those 18 years to further ravage my body, and I'll never get those years back.
I envy you younger girls, you have so many better options, so much more information at your fingertips, and so many more places to find help than I did ''back in the day''. Don't do what I did. Don't live in denial. No one today should have to make the choices that I had to make back then. Don't get innocents caught up in your problem.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there!
Dani xxx
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Back in the saddle again...I think?
Hi, everyone, I'm back, for now, anyway! I've been having MAJOR problems with Blogger, hence my silence over the last few weeks. It wouldn't even let me log onto my account to create a new post until this morning! Of course, it probably doesn't help that I don't have a computer, I do all of this from my phone! If Blogger can't keep their shit together I may have to go to WordPress or something because this is getting f'ing ridiculous! I really would hate to do that because Blogger's format is very user friendly for someone who is somewhat tech challenged, like me, but that won't help me if I can't even log in!
Okay, end rant. New post later today or tomorrow...maybe? (fingers crossed)
Dani xxx
Okay, end rant. New post later today or tomorrow...maybe? (fingers crossed)
Dani xxx
Sunday, May 22, 2011
...BREAKING NEWS...
...BREAKING NEWS... SUNDAY, MAY 22, 2011 10:00 AM EST
...URGENT! THE RAPTURE DID NOT HAPPEN! REPEAT...RAPTURE DID NOT HAPPEN!
Reports of people waking up this morning and finding that everything is pretty much as it was yesterday are streaming in from around the globe. We are still seeking independent confirmation of this story, but all reports thus far lead us to believe that absolutely nothing happened!
...PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER IRRELEVANT REPORTS OF THIS NON-EVENT! :-D
Dani xxx
...URGENT! THE RAPTURE DID NOT HAPPEN! REPEAT...RAPTURE DID NOT HAPPEN!
Reports of people waking up this morning and finding that everything is pretty much as it was yesterday are streaming in from around the globe. We are still seeking independent confirmation of this story, but all reports thus far lead us to believe that absolutely nothing happened!
...PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER IRRELEVANT REPORTS OF THIS NON-EVENT! :-D
Dani xxx
Friday, January 21, 2011
Technical Difficulties
I seem to be having technical difficulties today. I keep getting a 500 error everytime I try to post a comment anywhere, even here on my own blog. I don't know if it's a problem here with my phone, my ISP, or Blogger. I wonder if anyone else is having this problem today?
Dani xxx
Dani xxx
Blah!
I hate winter.
With a passion.
It's cold.
It's snowing...
again!
I don't ski.
I don't skate.
I don't own a snowmobile.
I do own a shovel.
I'll be using it again...
soon.
somebody, make it stop.
Blah!
Now I know why bears hibernate!
Dani xxx
With a passion.
It's cold.
It's snowing...
again!
I don't ski.
I don't skate.
I don't own a snowmobile.
I do own a shovel.
I'll be using it again...
soon.
somebody, make it stop.
Blah!
Now I know why bears hibernate!
Dani xxx
Friday, January 14, 2011
Are you f'ing kidding me?!?
I have, in a couple of past posts, had a short feature that I've called ''Are you f'ing kidding me?!?'' that I've put up when I come across a news story that seems so absurd, so jaw droppingly stupid, that it leaves me in a dumbfounded state of amazement that anyone could be so numb. This particular installment of ''Are you f'ing kidding me?!?'' is SO big that it needs a whole post to address the entire dangerous mind numbing stupidity.
Evidentally, the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has decided that the song ''Money for nothing'' is offensive because of the use of a certain F word in reference to an unspecified generic glam rocker. What?!? Okay, where to begin? Well, first of all, the CBSC is just a bit late to the dance, seeing as how the song in question came out 25 YEARS AGO!!! Does anyone under 30 even know who Dire Straits is?!? I also think that the CBSC is taking the reference completely out of context, but I'll let you be the judge of that. If they really want to find offensive lyrics they don't need to go all the way back to 25 year old rock classics, just look at Eminem's catalog, or about 98 percent of hip hop. Maybe we should censor ''Baby got back'' because it's offensiue to women with big butts, or perhaps we should censor ''Something in your mouth'' because the lyrics insunate that women look better with an unspecified ''something'' in their mouths?!?
This comes on the heels of a Mark Twain reprint that edits out all of the N words. This is all very, VERY dangerous! What's next? Do we edit ''Snow White and the 7 Dwarves'' because the term Dwarf is offensive to little people?!? Do we censor ''The Rocky Horror Picture Show'' because it's unacceptable to call Dr. Frank N Furter a Transylvanian Transvestite?!? Maybe we should edit the history of the Spanish Inquision because saying that that was an evil thing to do is offensive to Spanish catholics?!? This is as dangerous as rewriting history in Texas school textbooks and putting bathing suits on nude statues!
Are we really now all so thin skined, so PC, that we have to sensitize and sterilize everything and encase it in a thick layer of bubble wrap?!? It's no wonder that no one can have any meaningful discussions about any sensitive subjects. It's begining to look like George Orwell was right, he just got the year wrong.
Dani xxx
Evidentally, the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has decided that the song ''Money for nothing'' is offensive because of the use of a certain F word in reference to an unspecified generic glam rocker. What?!? Okay, where to begin? Well, first of all, the CBSC is just a bit late to the dance, seeing as how the song in question came out 25 YEARS AGO!!! Does anyone under 30 even know who Dire Straits is?!? I also think that the CBSC is taking the reference completely out of context, but I'll let you be the judge of that. If they really want to find offensive lyrics they don't need to go all the way back to 25 year old rock classics, just look at Eminem's catalog, or about 98 percent of hip hop. Maybe we should censor ''Baby got back'' because it's offensiue to women with big butts, or perhaps we should censor ''Something in your mouth'' because the lyrics insunate that women look better with an unspecified ''something'' in their mouths?!?
This comes on the heels of a Mark Twain reprint that edits out all of the N words. This is all very, VERY dangerous! What's next? Do we edit ''Snow White and the 7 Dwarves'' because the term Dwarf is offensive to little people?!? Do we censor ''The Rocky Horror Picture Show'' because it's unacceptable to call Dr. Frank N Furter a Transylvanian Transvestite?!? Maybe we should edit the history of the Spanish Inquision because saying that that was an evil thing to do is offensive to Spanish catholics?!? This is as dangerous as rewriting history in Texas school textbooks and putting bathing suits on nude statues!
Are we really now all so thin skined, so PC, that we have to sensitize and sterilize everything and encase it in a thick layer of bubble wrap?!? It's no wonder that no one can have any meaningful discussions about any sensitive subjects. It's begining to look like George Orwell was right, he just got the year wrong.
Dani xxx
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Agent provocateur?
PHB is one of a number of fringe sites on both sides of the TG/TS divide that I usually stay well away from. Neither side of this ongoing flame war is ever going to win the arguement and while such things are sometimes an amusing distraction for those of us in the great middle it actually carries little relevance in our daily lives.
That having been said, it's been impossible to miss the latest battle, Sandeen vs Love, that's been burning through cyberspace. On the surface, it appears that Love made some statements that Sandeen found objectionable, to which she responded with a mean spirited four part hit piece that seems to be backfiring on her... or is it?
It makes me wonder, is Sandeen an agent provocateur? Was this, in fact, her intent all along? I would agree with what seems to be the majority opinion of Sandeen, that she's a bit mentally unbalanced, but I don't think that she's a fool. Could all of this have been meant to promote and advance Love and a new generation of TS activists to carry on the fight? Everything that Sandeen has ever said would lead me to say no, but you never can tell. Maybe?
Dani xxx
That having been said, it's been impossible to miss the latest battle, Sandeen vs Love, that's been burning through cyberspace. On the surface, it appears that Love made some statements that Sandeen found objectionable, to which she responded with a mean spirited four part hit piece that seems to be backfiring on her... or is it?
It makes me wonder, is Sandeen an agent provocateur? Was this, in fact, her intent all along? I would agree with what seems to be the majority opinion of Sandeen, that she's a bit mentally unbalanced, but I don't think that she's a fool. Could all of this have been meant to promote and advance Love and a new generation of TS activists to carry on the fight? Everything that Sandeen has ever said would lead me to say no, but you never can tell. Maybe?
Dani xxx
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Pronouns
Hi, everyone! I've been a bit remiss in both my postings to this blog and commenting at all of yours, which I blame on a combination of frustration, anger, sadness, resignation, and just plain being busy with the holidays. Please bear with me, I'll get back on track!
Speaking of commenting, there are some of you, Karin, April, Cyrsti, Kelli Roberts, among others, who still have your comment section set to Blogger's default, which is incompatible with my system, and I'd love to stop by.
While we're still on the subject of blog posts and comments, I've got something that I've really got to get off my chest. As a socially liberal constitutional conservative libertarian who is an independet agnostic wicca buddhist nazarene pastafarian, I understand that I'm never going to have complete agreement with me from everyone all the time, and I accept that. I feel that disagreement and discussion is healthy and productive as long as it's not taken to the extreme of dehumanizing those who you disagree with. Deliberately and maliciously misgendering someone, whether it's Autumn Sandeen, Aria Blue, Jamiegottagun, June Hingle, or anyone else is unacceptable from anyone, especially when it comes from people who have a high profile in the community and should know better! We're better than that, or at least we should be!
Dani xxx
Speaking of commenting, there are some of you, Karin, April, Cyrsti, Kelli Roberts, among others, who still have your comment section set to Blogger's default, which is incompatible with my system, and I'd love to stop by.
While we're still on the subject of blog posts and comments, I've got something that I've really got to get off my chest. As a socially liberal constitutional conservative libertarian who is an independet agnostic wicca buddhist nazarene pastafarian, I understand that I'm never going to have complete agreement with me from everyone all the time, and I accept that. I feel that disagreement and discussion is healthy and productive as long as it's not taken to the extreme of dehumanizing those who you disagree with. Deliberately and maliciously misgendering someone, whether it's Autumn Sandeen, Aria Blue, Jamiegottagun, June Hingle, or anyone else is unacceptable from anyone, especially when it comes from people who have a high profile in the community and should know better! We're better than that, or at least we should be!
Dani xxx
Friday, December 24, 2010
Miracles
96 years ago, almost to the day, on Dec. 25, 1914, the machines of war fell silent on the western front as the armies of both sides of what we know of as World War 1, both German and Anglo-French, pulled themselves from the frozen muck, mud, and blood of the trenches and met each other in no-man's land in mirth and merryment, singing carols and exchanging gifts, in celebration of the birth of a very wise man who said
''But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those that hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.''
Luke 6:27-28
Perhaps those who are engaged in the bloody, and not-so bloody, conflicts of today could take those words and the example of those soldiers from nearly a century ago to heart.
Maybe the guns, both literal and metaphorical, can fall silent in spontanious acts of random kindness. Who knows, maybe it could even become a trend that carries over into the other 364 days of the year. Miracles can happen.
I, and my family, wish all of you and your's a very Happy Holidays!
Merry Yule, a bit late!
Happy Hanukkah, a lot late!
Happy Kwaanza!
Nollaig Shona Dhaoiba, Froelich Weinachten, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad
Merry Christmas!
Dani xxx
''But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those that hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.''
Luke 6:27-28
Perhaps those who are engaged in the bloody, and not-so bloody, conflicts of today could take those words and the example of those soldiers from nearly a century ago to heart.
Maybe the guns, both literal and metaphorical, can fall silent in spontanious acts of random kindness. Who knows, maybe it could even become a trend that carries over into the other 364 days of the year. Miracles can happen.
I, and my family, wish all of you and your's a very Happy Holidays!
Merry Yule, a bit late!
Happy Hanukkah, a lot late!
Happy Kwaanza!
Nollaig Shona Dhaoiba, Froelich Weinachten, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad
Merry Christmas!
Dani xxx
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Disclaimer
Okay, I probably should've done this a long time ago.
The views and opinions expressed by commentors on this blog do not necissairily express or reflect the views and opinions of the author of this blog unless otherwise noted, ie: I answer and agree with your comment.
I am the sort of person who tries to hear both sides of an arguement, then make my own judgement. This helps me define and adjust my own views on various issues, it may be that someone makes a point that I hadn't thought of before. I'm sure that many of you do the same.
For that reason, I have, thus far, not moderated comments here, and am reluctant to do so. I'm endevoring to provide an open forum here as I feel that most helpful to myself and to you, dear readers. This, however, could change if I decide that things are getting too out of hand.
I feel that moderating comments, or disabling the comment option entirely, would harm the usefullness of this blog to me, and to all of you, but this option is open to me, as is making my blog private, and I'll exercise these options if I decide that it's become necissary.
Dani xxx
The views and opinions expressed by commentors on this blog do not necissairily express or reflect the views and opinions of the author of this blog unless otherwise noted, ie: I answer and agree with your comment.
I am the sort of person who tries to hear both sides of an arguement, then make my own judgement. This helps me define and adjust my own views on various issues, it may be that someone makes a point that I hadn't thought of before. I'm sure that many of you do the same.
For that reason, I have, thus far, not moderated comments here, and am reluctant to do so. I'm endevoring to provide an open forum here as I feel that most helpful to myself and to you, dear readers. This, however, could change if I decide that things are getting too out of hand.
I feel that moderating comments, or disabling the comment option entirely, would harm the usefullness of this blog to me, and to all of you, but this option is open to me, as is making my blog private, and I'll exercise these options if I decide that it's become necissary.
Dani xxx
Monday, December 20, 2010
Mental Diarrhea
This post began as an answer to Melissa's comments on my previous post but it grew...and grew...and grew, so I thought that I'd devote an entire post to it.
The votes for ENDA probably weren't there, but I'd feel a lot less bitter with Barney ''Uncle Tom'' Frank and the rest of the dems if they at least made it appear that they fought the good fight, but they don't even attempt that. Trans gets thrown under the bus every single time, for DADT, for their precious marriage, or whatever the hot cause of the day is for the gay community, while we don't even have the right not to be fired from our jobs or thrown out of our homes, the most basic of rights, just for being trans. I'd realy like to support the dems but until their deeds and actions match their words they're not giving me much reason to. Their failure to deliver on ENDA has at least as much, and maybe more, to do with them looking for political cover as it does with the weird procedural rules of the Senate. One can hardly imagine the civil rights giants of the 60's failing to show courage to act in the face of almost overwelming opposition to racial equality. Today's dems can't even hold a candle to those couragous men and women. RFK must be rolling in his grave!
Repeal of DADT IS good news, I'm just afraid of the unintended and possibly disasterous consequences of the repeal. When the military was desegregated back in the 50's Truman already had the draft, so racist soldiers had no choice but to get over it unless they wanted to face a court martial or dodge the draft. That's not the the situation that we have today. Today, people can choose to enlist or re-enlist... or choose not to. Estimates are that we could loose 25-30 percent of our current service members when DADT is repealed, they just won't re-up. This figure is probably higher among potential recruits, who may never join to begin with. Losing 30 percent without replacement when we're already streached thin with the Afghan war, Iraq, and our other commitments around the world, and the looming probability of military confrontation with North Korea AND Iran is unacceptable. If the draft has to be reinstated to make up for losses you can be sure that the GOP will blame the GLBT for it. That would probably be enough to stall future GLBT legislation and could lead to a lot of Matthew Shepards.
Many have compaired DADT repeal with military desegregation in the 50's but it's not quite the same. I'm sorry, it's just not. We're talking about a whole different dynamic here. For obvious reasons, no one would think that being Black is a choice. Now I know, as do most of you, that being gay, lesbian, or trans isn't a choice, either, but not everyone sees it that way. Many people, and not just homophobes and transphobes, but also some tolerant and otherwise enlightened people, see being G,L,B, or T as a lifestyle choice. The education level just isn't there yet and it'll probably take another generation to turn this preception.
Dani xxx
The votes for ENDA probably weren't there, but I'd feel a lot less bitter with Barney ''Uncle Tom'' Frank and the rest of the dems if they at least made it appear that they fought the good fight, but they don't even attempt that. Trans gets thrown under the bus every single time, for DADT, for their precious marriage, or whatever the hot cause of the day is for the gay community, while we don't even have the right not to be fired from our jobs or thrown out of our homes, the most basic of rights, just for being trans. I'd realy like to support the dems but until their deeds and actions match their words they're not giving me much reason to. Their failure to deliver on ENDA has at least as much, and maybe more, to do with them looking for political cover as it does with the weird procedural rules of the Senate. One can hardly imagine the civil rights giants of the 60's failing to show courage to act in the face of almost overwelming opposition to racial equality. Today's dems can't even hold a candle to those couragous men and women. RFK must be rolling in his grave!
Repeal of DADT IS good news, I'm just afraid of the unintended and possibly disasterous consequences of the repeal. When the military was desegregated back in the 50's Truman already had the draft, so racist soldiers had no choice but to get over it unless they wanted to face a court martial or dodge the draft. That's not the the situation that we have today. Today, people can choose to enlist or re-enlist... or choose not to. Estimates are that we could loose 25-30 percent of our current service members when DADT is repealed, they just won't re-up. This figure is probably higher among potential recruits, who may never join to begin with. Losing 30 percent without replacement when we're already streached thin with the Afghan war, Iraq, and our other commitments around the world, and the looming probability of military confrontation with North Korea AND Iran is unacceptable. If the draft has to be reinstated to make up for losses you can be sure that the GOP will blame the GLBT for it. That would probably be enough to stall future GLBT legislation and could lead to a lot of Matthew Shepards.
Many have compaired DADT repeal with military desegregation in the 50's but it's not quite the same. I'm sorry, it's just not. We're talking about a whole different dynamic here. For obvious reasons, no one would think that being Black is a choice. Now I know, as do most of you, that being gay, lesbian, or trans isn't a choice, either, but not everyone sees it that way. Many people, and not just homophobes and transphobes, but also some tolerant and otherwise enlightened people, see being G,L,B, or T as a lifestyle choice. The education level just isn't there yet and it'll probably take another generation to turn this preception.
Dani xxx
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Now, the bad news
Okay, the Senate has passed DADT repeal 63 to 33 and Obama is anxiously waiting to sign it, yada, yada, yada.
Whatever.
Don't misunderstand me, this is truly great news for gay and lesbian members of our armed forces, who have been living under a cloud for far too long.
Now, the bad news.
That's all it is. No protection for trans service members, who will continue to suffer as they always have. No trans inclusive ENDA, either. Zero. Zilch. Goose eggs. Nada. Nothing for trans equality at even the most basic and fundemental level after 4 years of dem controled congress because useless POS's like Barney Frank, who are our ''allies'' are only too ready to sell us down the friggin' river at a moment's notice if there's any hint of them being given membership in the ''normal'' club. We keep hearing ''Don't worry, we'll come back for you'' from our gay and lesbian ''allies''. BULLSHIT! Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen! They told us that here in NH, just before they got marriage equality, then they fell dead silent as trans equality lost unanimously in a dem controled state senate!
In the great scheme of things, this repeal may cause more harm than good. The general public, already pivoting to the right, as we saw in Nov., is apt to be pushed even further there now. In the inevidable backlash, future legislative gains for GLBT, already made difficult at best, may now be impossible to achieve in our lifetime.
I'm not too sure that our military is the place to be experimenting with social engineering, anyway. We have a volunteer military, they CHOOSE to serve. It takes a sort of patriotisim that is largely confinded to those from rather conservative segments of our society to be willing to pick up a gun and blow people away for love of God and country. The vast majority may not be willing to serve with openly gay members. Retention and recruitment could become a very, very big problem very, very quickly. If the cost of DADT repeal turns out to be a return to the draft, then the price was too high.
Dani xxx
Whatever.
Don't misunderstand me, this is truly great news for gay and lesbian members of our armed forces, who have been living under a cloud for far too long.
Now, the bad news.
That's all it is. No protection for trans service members, who will continue to suffer as they always have. No trans inclusive ENDA, either. Zero. Zilch. Goose eggs. Nada. Nothing for trans equality at even the most basic and fundemental level after 4 years of dem controled congress because useless POS's like Barney Frank, who are our ''allies'' are only too ready to sell us down the friggin' river at a moment's notice if there's any hint of them being given membership in the ''normal'' club. We keep hearing ''Don't worry, we'll come back for you'' from our gay and lesbian ''allies''. BULLSHIT! Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen! They told us that here in NH, just before they got marriage equality, then they fell dead silent as trans equality lost unanimously in a dem controled state senate!
In the great scheme of things, this repeal may cause more harm than good. The general public, already pivoting to the right, as we saw in Nov., is apt to be pushed even further there now. In the inevidable backlash, future legislative gains for GLBT, already made difficult at best, may now be impossible to achieve in our lifetime.
I'm not too sure that our military is the place to be experimenting with social engineering, anyway. We have a volunteer military, they CHOOSE to serve. It takes a sort of patriotisim that is largely confinded to those from rather conservative segments of our society to be willing to pick up a gun and blow people away for love of God and country. The vast majority may not be willing to serve with openly gay members. Retention and recruitment could become a very, very big problem very, very quickly. If the cost of DADT repeal turns out to be a return to the draft, then the price was too high.
Dani xxx
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Did ya miss me?
Hi, everyone, it's been awhile! I hope that I haven't lost any of you!
Thanks to my ongoing financial difficulties I have been unable to get online for the last month or so but now, for the moment anyway, normal transmissions have been restored. I hope that you have all been doing well and that you had a happy Thanksgiving. I am SO far behind on your blogs that it's not even funny, I'll be days catching up!
Nothing new or positive to report on the job hunting front, and in a small town, with no car, with national unemployment numbers hovering near 10 percent, that's not apt to change anytime soon. Since I also have two hernias that need to be repaired that lowers my odds even more. As much as I hate to, I think that I'm going to have to go and get some help to pay for that surgery. That may be just as well, though, maybe it'll cover therapy, too. The disphoria continues unabated and my depression and anxiety are getting worse. I rarely even go out anymore, I just sit around in the house. I need help!
Anyway, I'm back! I'll probably be sending out some emails in the next few days.
Dani xxx
Thanks to my ongoing financial difficulties I have been unable to get online for the last month or so but now, for the moment anyway, normal transmissions have been restored. I hope that you have all been doing well and that you had a happy Thanksgiving. I am SO far behind on your blogs that it's not even funny, I'll be days catching up!
Nothing new or positive to report on the job hunting front, and in a small town, with no car, with national unemployment numbers hovering near 10 percent, that's not apt to change anytime soon. Since I also have two hernias that need to be repaired that lowers my odds even more. As much as I hate to, I think that I'm going to have to go and get some help to pay for that surgery. That may be just as well, though, maybe it'll cover therapy, too. The disphoria continues unabated and my depression and anxiety are getting worse. I rarely even go out anymore, I just sit around in the house. I need help!
Anyway, I'm back! I'll probably be sending out some emails in the next few days.
Dani xxx
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Blue Skying
Sometimes, when I'm just sitting around not really doing anything but thinking, I wonder just exactly WHY am I transgender, what causes this condition. I know that while these thoughts are not productive, in and of themselves, and that they certainly won't change who and what I am, even if I wanted to, I sometimes come up with theories that may explain why some people are born this way. Now if I, a high school educated, unemployed construction worker, can come up with these theories, then surely a whole host of people with half a dozen PhD's and a string of letters behind their names must be recieving millions in grant money to study this, but, unless I'm not looking in the right place, I'm just not finding much research into the causes of GID.
I wonder if this apparent lack of research is for political and religious reasons. I have a pretty dim view of the government and it's my belief that their standard operating procedure is to keep information from the public that, in their opinion, would radically disturb the status quo. They're hidden deeper in the closet than some of us are! Organized religion would want such revelations kept secret as well, as the truth could shake their long held beliefs to the core. It's not too hard for me to believe that both church and state would go out of their way to keep any verifiable cause of GID a secret.
Imagine, if you will, the political and social chaos that would ensue if it were determined beyond any doubt that GID was a genetic condition and that suddenly governments had to give us our rights, as they were finally forced to for other minorities, and that legal discrimination was no longer acceptable. Imagine the conservative Christians, who have been taught to hate what they don't understand, suddenly being faced with Liviticus being tossed out the window just as Genisis has been. Imagine the financial cost if suddenly insurance companies were forced to pay for the procedures that they presently deny coverage for, it could run into the millions. Imagine the hundreds of millions of dollars that the chemical companies would have to pay out in massiue class action lawsuits around the world if it was determined that one of their wonderful, harmless food colorings or pesticides was a cause of GID.
Still, information does manage to escape their watchful eyes from time to time, however inconclusive that information may be. The link between DES and GID is one of those pieces of research that somehow escaped the censors. This potential cause is close to home for me, as I feel that it's likely that my mother took DES. I also think that there's likely a link between GID and all the chemicals that have been dumped into the enviorment and injected into our food for the last 60 some odd years. In recent years I have seen more cases of ADD, ADHD, Autisim, and other conditions than I can recall seeing back in the 70's and 80's, it's not a far stretch to connect those conditions and GID with chemicals. The realy big cause, though, I believe, is genetic predisposition, and this is the cause that's most likely to let the genie out of the bottle. I think that the area of the brain that controls both gender and sexual attraction are in the same sectim of the brain and that gender variance and same sex attraction are more likely to occure among individuals in certain families, meaning that if you have one or more family members who are gay, you are more likely to be transsexual, and vice versa.
Just some theories from a high school educated, unemployed construction worker& mind you. What do you think?
Dani xxx
I wonder if this apparent lack of research is for political and religious reasons. I have a pretty dim view of the government and it's my belief that their standard operating procedure is to keep information from the public that, in their opinion, would radically disturb the status quo. They're hidden deeper in the closet than some of us are! Organized religion would want such revelations kept secret as well, as the truth could shake their long held beliefs to the core. It's not too hard for me to believe that both church and state would go out of their way to keep any verifiable cause of GID a secret.
Imagine, if you will, the political and social chaos that would ensue if it were determined beyond any doubt that GID was a genetic condition and that suddenly governments had to give us our rights, as they were finally forced to for other minorities, and that legal discrimination was no longer acceptable. Imagine the conservative Christians, who have been taught to hate what they don't understand, suddenly being faced with Liviticus being tossed out the window just as Genisis has been. Imagine the financial cost if suddenly insurance companies were forced to pay for the procedures that they presently deny coverage for, it could run into the millions. Imagine the hundreds of millions of dollars that the chemical companies would have to pay out in massiue class action lawsuits around the world if it was determined that one of their wonderful, harmless food colorings or pesticides was a cause of GID.
Still, information does manage to escape their watchful eyes from time to time, however inconclusive that information may be. The link between DES and GID is one of those pieces of research that somehow escaped the censors. This potential cause is close to home for me, as I feel that it's likely that my mother took DES. I also think that there's likely a link between GID and all the chemicals that have been dumped into the enviorment and injected into our food for the last 60 some odd years. In recent years I have seen more cases of ADD, ADHD, Autisim, and other conditions than I can recall seeing back in the 70's and 80's, it's not a far stretch to connect those conditions and GID with chemicals. The realy big cause, though, I believe, is genetic predisposition, and this is the cause that's most likely to let the genie out of the bottle. I think that the area of the brain that controls both gender and sexual attraction are in the same sectim of the brain and that gender variance and same sex attraction are more likely to occure among individuals in certain families, meaning that if you have one or more family members who are gay, you are more likely to be transsexual, and vice versa.
Just some theories from a high school educated, unemployed construction worker& mind you. What do you think?
Dani xxx
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